Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Snowmygod...why I HATE the cold.

The cold hurts my body.
I give my children and husband hugs, the moment I touch them they run from me screaming and crying.  They have just been shocked.  
My lips turn purple.
It hurts when I get shocked.
My skin is so dry and pale that I almost look like I’m dead.  I go from being a very tan white girl to a very very VERY WHITE white girl whose dark hair now looks very goth next to her very white or elbow ash gray skin.
Constantly getting shocked and my hair standing up. 

My children walk by me and get too close and I get shocked.

Little shits (JAY) throwing snow at me.

Jay walks by and sticks his stupidly long finger in my direction, and SHOCK!

I was making my way to the bathroom and as I reached for the doorknob a tiny lighting bolt came out of my finger. SHOCKED.

Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold...to infinity ..cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold...to infinity

Getting shocked.

Ain't no sunshine...Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
It's not warm when she's away.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and she's always gone too long
anytime she goes away.

Kids in snowsuits in car seats.

I hate it when I get shocked.

Flu. hate it. scares me.

I just put my ipod ear bud in my ear and a bolt of lightning came out my other ear...SHOCKED!

Chapped hands. My hands bleed at the slightest cold and wind, especially since I'm a serial hand washer, which makes them dry out. So now they are all cracked and scabby.

I just touched metal, I was instantly shocked.

"Do you have a warm?" Nope. It's always, "Do you have a cold?" From this logic cold = sick. Enough said.

Snow is blinding.

ZAP! ZIP! STING!  Shocked again.

I lose my balance and fall over breaking my bones, I get frost bite and my fingers fall off. 


I get out of the car...SHOCK!

Everything looks like it has been spray painted with depression. 

I swear to God, I am 15 minutes away from getting a vitamin D deficiency.

I turned on the light--SHOCKED.

The world covered in snow is a cold and miserable place. I realize this post might not be very articulate, but I'm cold and my fingers won't work properly....SHOCK.

On the bright side, here are the best snowmen...EVER:


megan c. said...

omg.this cracked me up.

p.s. about your snowmen: you love scary things.

Kate said...


The Stottlemyre Chronicles said...

I am very confused.