Saturday, January 8, 2011

Not the day I asked for...

We had a little bit of a scare yesterday; after a routine Dr. appointment, little Gianni Rocco was rushed to Children's Hospital.  He had gone 3 weeks without gaining an ounce (babies are supposed to gain one ounce a day for the first few months).  He had been eating regularly, peeing and making poopies regularly but just not gaining weight and this was a problem.  He had all the basic labs done, everything came back normal, he was strong, alert, well hydrated, jaundice free...yet, our one and half month old was the size of a newborn.  They have done more tests, taken x-rays, urine samples, poopie samples, blood samples...so far no word; they just want to make sure everything internally is working properly.  MY diagnosis: kid just needs more to eat.  We just had Christmas, New Years, vacation, we have all been sick, Gianni got thrush, a cold, and my milk supply must have dwindled.  Since we have been here, we added more feedings, started supplementing with some of my pumped milk I had stored.  He seems to be thriving with more/larger feedings--it is amazing how my content tiny baby changed into a smiling, cooing content baby almost instantly.  I've been waiting on the smiles and the cooing for a few weeks now, and it was all the confirmation I needed to make a very hard decision.  I decided to stop breastfeeding (I am going to have him finish off the pumped milk I have stored, then switch to a soy based formula).  Now, I have NEVER stopped breastfeeding on my own...I am a huge advocate, even though it has never been easy or enjoyable for me.  I try to do everything as natural and healthy as possible.  My two older children stopped breastfeeding on their own after one year of age; I have never had to make this decision.   I could do what it takes to get my supply up (more feedings, more pumpings, more stimulation at the breast creates more milk...herbs...) BUT when I gave Gianni that first bottle and was able to monitor his intake, I was over come with relief and joy AND he was so happy--I GOT MY FIRST HUGE SMILE AND A COO!  I will never have to deal with clogged ducts, mastitis, cracked nipples, even BLOODY nipples.  In giving him that bottle I realized I could watch him and talk to him while I fed him...I could look into his eyes and see him conveying what seemed to me "thank you".  The instant gratification was very fulfilling.  It was a very happy revelation for me that I could still provide him with nourishment...but now was able to ENJOY IT.  I still believe breast feeding is a better source of nourishment.  I am just so thankful that science and technology has advanced as far as it has in the way of formula.  Sometimes it is easier to have situations make a decision for you.  We will see how I feel in a few weeks.

Throughout this event I am so thankful to have my husband and family.  Jay has been supportive in ways beyond what I knew.  Grandparents are watching the two older boys and spoiling them rotten.  I feel so loved, taken care of and thankful.

I will continue to post with Gianni updates...things seem to be moving up hill.  I am hopeful and happy.







Despite my day, I still managed to dress...I even wore a flower in my hair.

AE plum crop sweater, VS tank, AE skinny destroyed jeans, forever 21 large faux diamond earrings, gray TOMS


gray flower is from Target.

5 comments:

Mkokopelli said...

When Ella was born she lost weight the first week. So I had to supplement. It's ok to do both. I would alternate throughout the day from breast to bottle so she would get the important antibodies and healthy stuff from breastmilk. But.... I dried out because of this at 4 months. So, make sure you are sure in your decision. You can always pump if you don't want to give him the breast anymore. I know this is a decision I've always regretted (and I don't regret things!) and wish I would have tried harder. I'm thinking about you guys!!! <3

Racquel said...

Sorry to hear about G baby. My daughter did the same thing and the first time I saw how happy she was after I gave her that a bottle of formula, I never regretted it. She was a different baby, more awake but not fussy!!! I started pumping and quickly realized I was not producing enough milk (less than 2 oz) although I was feeding every 2 1/2 hours for the first 2 wks of life. I did continue to pump and gave her formula as well just for the satisfaction of knowing how much she was taking in. She was 7 lbs 6oz at birth lost down to 6-5 and stated there for 3 days before her doc said supplement or hospitalize!!!! At 5 wks she was 13 lbs. You will make it and hopefully he will gain some weight. Keep me posted.

Vanessa said...

It is so good to have people to relate to. I love you guys!

The Stottlemyre Chronicles said...

I want to tell you I went through the same thing with Ava. She was not getting enough milk from me and was under 6lbs. I can still remember the look of satisfaction she got from just 1 oz. of formula. It was the best feeling in the world to see what she was getting and her feeling full. He will gain his weight and be happy and healthy. Keep your head up and keep dressing like a big girl. It will make you feel good. We will keep your family in our prayers. Also don't let anybody talk you into one or the other make sure you feel completely comfortable in what you decide. I had people making me feel horrible about stopping breast feeding. You know what is right in your heart.

Vanessa said...

Megan, I actually told them NOT to send in the lactation consultant because I was confident and happy in my decision and didnt want to be faced with guilt or regret. The lactation nurse ignored the cancelled request and came in anyway. She ended up being AWESOME, by the time she left I was weeping and hugging her. She just told me it was a good decision, she understood my decision, and let me know how to wean as painlessly as possible. She was very encouraging and she happened to do the same thing with her third child. It was NOT was I was expecting. I have always breastfed and still couldnt stand those boobie nazi scum lactation consultants...in fact after each boy was born, I had urges to to exactly the opposite of what they told me just to piss them off. HA! Anyways, things worked out well. People make me so mad when they think can make a better decision for you, even if they can...it is NOT their decision to make nor is it their place to run your life. So take that communists! (what the hell am I even talking about now? HAHA)